Self-hating Maldivian

I usually try to avoid speaking ill of Maldivians – in case I come across as some kind of elitist snob who’s too good for his own country.

As it happens, I love my country. I’m absolutely fascinated by its culture, love the sound of bodu beru, curse myself for my inability to speak, read and write perfect Dhivehi (yet), and am exceedingly proud of my identity as a mahl.

In fact, I tend to think of myself as just slightly on the ultra-nationalistic side - and have on occasion quite literally considered adopting the traditional Maldivian sarong as my chosen attire. Regular readers would also know of my love for the traditional fen faivaan. They would also recollect that my first ever Op-Ed piece for a newspaper was titled ‘An Identity for Maldivians’ – lamenting the lack of respect we have for our own cultural heritage.

While I quite agree with most of my humanist friends that land borders that divide us into countries are often mere, meaningless imaginary lines - I also think that nationhood is decided more than by just imaginary geographical boundaries, but by a sum of a lot of shared history, values and unique cultural traits that bind us together, and I love that.

I appreciate it when some restaurants make their waiters adopt traditional Maldivian style clothing. I love to see women in the traditional, floral dhigu hedhun and libaas; love to see the giant National flag proudly unfurled in the Republican square on a windy day, and I have an insatiable appetite for traditional Maldivian folklore.

And I assure you, there’s not a single soul in the country prouder than I am when our President gives a giant one-finger salute to the Mullahs, and goes ahead with his bodu beru dance routine.

To be fair, I probably would have loved this anyway

[Image Source: Minivan News]

The point is this: I’m quite secure and immensely proud of my Maldivian identity, my ancestry and the rich history that preceded my being born on this tiny speck in the middle of the ocean.

I love the Maldives.

It is simply some Maldivians that I cannot stand.

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Some commentators on Minivan News, and other strangers, have called me a 'self-hating' Maldivian - often because evil, Zionist yaamyn inside their heads is a deranged, anti-Palestinian bigot. This is despite my repeated assurances that I strongly sympathize with the Palestinian cause, which, in any case, has really nothing to do with my views on Maldivians.

A friend of mine recently pointed out the irony of these emotional critics calling me a 'self-hating' Maldivian. Interestingly, it turns out that the 'self-hating' prefix was popularized by right-wing Zionists to vilify those Jews who were perceived to be against the State of Israel.

To think the people accusing me of "Zionist" sympathies have to borrow words from Zionist vocabulary!

I also want to quickly share another thought I recently had:- Thanks to years of writing under my real identity, I have developed quite a thick skin when it comes to online criticism. I have seen practically every possible comment, retort and response - and I no longer find anything shocking, offensive or disturbing.

I have reached a point where I am able to effortlessly filter out the emotions from comments and sieve out objective, valid criticism without taking the slightest offense - even when offense was probably meant.

This ability to maintain some disconnect between Internet feedback and personal emotions allows me to look critically at my own posts. Sometimes, I tend to agree more with those who criticize my Op-Ed articles, than with commentators who praise me.

But this detached, non-emotional way of looking at things can sometimes backfire when I forget that others may not have the advantage of being similarly inured to written criticism over the years. 

I sometimes mock, ridicule and dish out the same kind of blunt criticism that I can easily take, without immediately realizing that the person on the other end might take it quite personally. This is fine in most cases, because most of my more aggressive comments are usually made in response to a confrontational (or just plain retarded) comment.

But sometimes, I see the lines increasingly blurring between "Internet people" and people I might have to deal with in real life. This sort of puts me in a hard place, where I might be forced to curb my tendency to say things as I see them, in order to prevent easily wounded people from developing a real life grudge against me!

Unlike on the Internet, I'm easily hurt by real life confrontations.

Something I probably need to work on right away.

~Peace!